Ghosts with +1 Chaos Ability: a Rookie Account
Mack Hart
Helen had advised that Andy check out the playroom again once the whole necklace fiasco was over. There had been plenty of signs of cursed magic in there, a lot of them Helen thought unexplained by what Andy found: the room that wouldn't clean itself anymore; the fact that it had taken Andy so long to figure out it was the necklace and not something with the walls... all of them were pretty suspicious.
So yeah, Helen was probably right. No, Helen was right. Andy really should just stick her head in there and see if she got an immediate migraine. But that idea just wasn't appealing.
Ever since getting shocked by that goddamn piece of kids jewelry, she'd made a point of avoiding the room. And why not? After ridding herself of the thing, she'd discovered that her hand was, in fact, burned. Black, raised circles had appeared across her palm where she'd grabbed the string off the ground, and the skin around them hurt like hell. Thankfully, a drive to the herbalist lady, Mrs. Kristine Nighting, had saved her from having to deal with it for what would have been like forever. She just did some little voodoo thing and it was gone, but the scar remained, and the joint pain had lasted for two days after the initial incident, something else to think about.
So, no, Andy had not gone back yet. She hadn't gone back because fuck that. Why would she when she could just avoid that hall and just use the perfectly good servant's stairs from when the house had first been built? Besides, sometimes, if you avoid your problems long enough, they'll vanish or solve themselves. And that was exactly the theory here.
Just before Andy could turn the corner to the back door, a tall woman in a tight black dress that didn't compliment her at all appeared out of nowhere, literally. It was like Andy's worst nightmare come true, like the worst kind of party popper - one that left a tingling in the air where she'd popped out. The fact that she could do that made her instantly more terrifying. Definitely time for an anti-magic charm.
“Andy.”
Andy paused, facing her aunt. Her adopted aunt.
“Gen.”
The woman shook her head.
“Where have you been? I've been needing you for days.”
Andy shrugged. It was funny, because she'd been avoiding Gen for days. Ever since the less than stellar phone conversation she'd overheard the woman having with Kellington after the necklace incident.
“I've been out and about.” Hiding in the kitchen and in town.
“You haven't been at meals. You aren't around the house during the day. I know you're avoiding me; you're avoiding your job.”
“I'm unemployed.”
“You have free room and board here. Thanks to me. You work for me.”
“Then I work for whoever arranged that. I work for Kellington.”
Gen took a step forward. Man, this woman was even more intimidating than Andy had remembered from five days ago.
“Regardless. I need you to finish solving that problem I gave you.”
Her voice got quiet as she finished the sentence, as though she were terrified someone else would hear that she had been hiring her adopted niece.
“I can't send the kids back into the playroom until we can be sure it's safe, and after you found that – that thing – it certainly doesn't seem safe.”
Andy shook her head.
“No. It's probably not.”
Gen threw up her hands.
“Then make it so. That's what you're here to do, isn't it?”
“I'm not a magician. If there's a curse on the room there's nothing I can do. Hire your stupid brother himself. We all know he'd be more successful and care a helluva lot more than me.”
“He's a busy man.”
“I would love to be busy doing the things I care about. I did have a life before this.”
“This is your life.”
“It doesn't have to be.”
“Andriana Kellington, you are going to do as you have been asked here to -”
“It's Andrelyn. Andrelyn is my name. And I'll get to it when I can.”
Gen crossed her arms, like she was about to tell her six year old daughter to go to her room or something, but she hesitated. Glancing out the door to her right, into the yard, her face fell a little. Yeah, she'd lost this one.
“I should have asked for Kevin.”
“Yeah, you should have. Bye bye!”
Andy held up a hand, waggling just her fingers before turning to walk out the door. Enough of this crap.
Below her, Hannibal made a noise, twining through her legs and giving Gen a suspicious look, the kind kids give their parents when their Halloween candy’s disappeared overnight.
Andy stepped over him carefully. She'd almost forgotten he was there. Good boy. Weird cat.
Opening the door, she allowed him to trot out first before following, leaving Gen standing there like a statue, stuck to the spot by her unwillingness to move.
The lady was certainly a buzz kill. Asked for Kevin? Low blow. He'd been their obvious favorite pretty much forever. Andy could've de-monstered the entire estate and surrounding town and, in their eyes, still not compared with the guy. Fuck, if he'd come, he never would have solved the mystery. Gen and Jeromy probably would have given him an Xbox, a lifetime supply of snacks, and then bowed down behind him all summer in worship.
She didn't get it. The guy wasn't even anything special. Yeah, Kevin was kinda nice sometimes, but he was pretty much just a skinnier, less useful Jason Kellington. Maybe that was it, since Gen was basically in love with her brother. Or maybe it was that out of the two younger generation Kellington kids, Kevin had the one important thing going for him: he did magic. The guy was basically a hippie with a uke who gave people eargasms; he was the Pied Piper; the Louis Armstrong of all instruments if Louis could convince a full grown man to rob a bank with his sweet jams. If anybody was truly useless in the Kelington household, it was Kevin, and all the Kellington's and Leistings adored him.
Andy groaned and Hannibal looked back at her from where he was stalking a little squirrel on a branch above his head. He trotted back to her, looking for pets. Sucker. No, that wasn't fair to think about Kevin like that. But yeah, Gen was a buzz kill.
Within twenty minutes of going outside, Andy had spent enough time seething to drive her back into the entry hall where she angrily stomped up the grand staircase to the second floor were that stupid playroom was. The hall was empty both below and above the stairs, and as she walked, her footsteps echoed off the smooth tile, rebounding to her ears from where they collided with the dark stone of the walls all around her.
Her job indeed. She could do better living out of her car and traveling the continent. There were enough people out there desperate to have things taken care of in a much more physical way that she would be just fine. Andy didn't solve mysteries. She slaughtered dangerous things. There's no mystery when you see those things. No surprise. No ungrateful, assholian, stupid, stuck-up relatives that steal you away from your only real chance in the world to do something you suck at. Fuck.
When she turned the corner to the playroom, she made eye contact with a woman she hadn't noticed before, perhaps fifteen steps ahead of her and on a collision course. She was skinny, probably about fifty years old and starved, with fashion straight out of the 1950's elite and gray hair that she piled on top of her head in an elaborate bun.
When she saw Andy, her dark eyes went wide with surprise. Immediately, she looked away.
“Good afternoon,” muttered Andy as she passed, but it came out as more of a growl, so she put her head down and walked faster. No sense scaring people who were staying here. Or actually...
She glanced behind here to where the woman was scurrying down the stairs.
Nah, the moment had passed. Freaking the hell out of people who came to experience Gen and Jeromy's hospitality could definitely have its perks, mostly making them look awful, but honestly, it wasn't worth it. It was all too obvious who would be doing it, so she'd get busted pretty much immediately.
Andy stopped in her tracks. A slight tug in her gut had caught her attention. Having a fairly solid stomach, it was easy to tell when she was being affected by something that wasn't food related. Only when she smelled something delicious was there any doubt to what it was coming from, and even then, she could usually tell by the immediate gurgling and salivation. So this wasn't normal. Yeah, there were random things in this house that could cause it, like the friendly suit of armor, but not here.
Not five steps in front of her was the door to the playroom. Case not closed. The playroom was fucking haunted. Or something like that.
Andy whimpered to herself. Why couldn't things like this just solve themselves? She'd ignored it for like five days, so therefore it should have just fucked off and gone away or... something! Goddammit.
The heaviness to the air increased as she took the last few steps to stand in the open doorway to the room.
“Oh. Hey, Andy.”
She paused in the doorway, hand on the knob to her left where the door had been left open.
Her eldest cousin on this side of the family, Seth, was significantly bigger than either of his siblings. The guy was destined to be tall, she could already tell. At fourteen years old, he was already a good head or so taller than Andy – something that was total bullshit from the moment he surpassed her in height two years ago. From there, his hair was a rival to hers, also. The guy was in the goth stage, where dudes let their hair grow out, wear T-shirts from metal concerts they've never been to and think it makes them look like rebels.
Toni would get there eventually, but at seven, almost eight, years old, Gen had forced him to keep his hair short, despite the consistent fight he put up when she dragged him to get it cut. Unlike Seth, he appeared to be turning out exceptionally small, both skinny and short for his age. Toni looked five, something his siblings wouldn't let him live down. Even Chrissy, the six year old, towered over him and could probably take him down if she wanted. Not that the Robin Hood princess would ever do that.
As Seth said her name, Toni's head popped up, excitedly from where he'd been fiddling with something at his brother's feet.
“Hey Andy check it out!”
Crawling into the fireplace, Toni jabbed his finger wildly at a burn mark on the brickwork near the back, exactly where the necklace had landed when she'd flung it like an unholy frisbee.
“Wait!”
She jumped forward, grabbing Toni by the middle and hauling him out of the fireplace like Santa's bag.
He looked up at her with those sad 7-year-old eyes – the ones that told her she'd just thrown his teddy bear out the window - and sat back, trying to comprehend what had just happened while he absently picked at the cast on his arm.
“What's wrong Andy?”
Seth looked confused, too, where he now stood over his younger brother.
The buzzing was still more intense down here than it had been when she stood near the door. Standing, she tried futilely to escape the feeling, but it was impossible. Definitely something was up. Were they causing it? She hadn't really seen Toni since she'd arrived; maybe he'd developed some kind of sorcery or something. Seth wasn't really likely. He'd figured out written magic was his thing years ago. So long as the guy didn't have a #2 pencil, you were safe.
“There's still something in here, I haven't figured this out yet. For once, Gen is right in deciding to keep you guys out of here, trust me.”
Seth scoffed with all the teenage tough-guy gruffness he could muster. “There's nothing killing us in here.”
“No, not right this second.”
“What's wrong with the fireplace?”
Toni still looked kind of sad, but he had graduated from his kicked puppy look and was now beginning to inspect the toys on the ground around him.
“Stop. Don't touch anything.”
He stopped.
Andy shook her head, running her hands over her face and hair. If only people could just figure it out and stay the hell away from the bad shit. That was the problem with people. DON'T. GO TOWARDS. THE BAD SHIT. Not that it was fair to take this out of Seth and Toni. They generally had about as much of an idea about the goings on in this house as did the fish in the family room.
“Look,” she began, “you guys might want to just get out of here for right now. I need some space to work and figure out what's going on.”
“But didn't you find that necklace and send it-”
“-Yes, yes I did. But that wasn't the only thing messing with this place and I don't know what else it is yet.”
“Oh.”
Toni looked around.
“Can I watch you work?”
His eyes were huge. The kid knew he could have his way if he tried long enough. That's Gen's kids for you, nice though they could be - unlike the dragon queen of the household. The real question was whether or not Toni was capable of just watching. More likely he'd be on her back the whole time, literally, trying to grab whatever she was looking at.
The image of Toni hanging off her hoodie, one arm wrapped around her neck trying to grab at some toy in her hand was just a little too vivid. No, better not to take that chance.
“You know what you can do that would be really helpful,” she said, looking away. What could he do? Did she really have something? “You could feed Hannibal for me.” Yeah. That sounds legit. You totally didn't just make that shit up. Good going Andy. “He'd love you forever if you do.”
The four legged guy looked up from where he stood in the doorway, giving her one of those looks simply stated why me. Yeah, he was never going to be a daycare therapy animal.
“Cool! What does he eat?”
Toni scrambled to his feet, totally ready for the challenge.
Andy glanced at Hannibal. You get to eat an extra meal today, buster, don't you give me that look.
“Ask Agnes. Normally I give him a can of tuna, but I think a little less than that would be better. He's getting fat and lazy these days.”
Hannibal squeaked.
She shrugged. It was true.
“Alright! Let's go boy!”
He made to pick up Hannibal, but the little killer dodged, trotting ahead of the kid to stay just out of reach.
Andy cringed as they left her sight, hoping her buddy could find it in him to forgive her.
He was getting food. There was hope.
Turning to Seth, she shook her head.
He was standing with his arms crossed in the middle of a mess of toys, feeling proud that he hadn't been kicked out yet.
“I don't have to make up excuses for you. Go on. Please.”
She gestured to the door and Seth's face fell. He dropped his arms and put his hands on his hips instead.
“Really?”
Andy shook her head.
“What?”
“You're just gonna kick me out, too?”
She bit her lip.
“No. Of course you can stay and go through everything that might be dangerous. Yes I'm kicking you out. Your parents would kill me if I inducted you into this.”
He dropped his arms then threw them up.
“Oh, come on! I never get to see you do the cool things. I wanna know how you do it.”
She shrugged.
“It's not that exciting. And also, you were there at Christmas, you know how it goes.”
“Pft.”
He looked around.
“What if I just sit in that chair?”
Pointing to a large armchair near the table, he walked over to it, making to sit down.
Andy shook her head again.
“Hold on.”
Striding over to it quickly so that she beat him to the punch, she took a seat in the chair. No shocks. No burning. No disorientation. The buzzing was no more intense over here than it had been everywhere else in the room. Okay, probably fine.
“Fine. But please, I just wanna get this over with so I can leave.”
He took a seat in the chair, crossing his legs and leaning back.
“Yeah, I can understand that. Toni and Chrissy were super excited when you showed up, but I know how you and mom get along. Or rather, don't.”
“Thanks for the reminder.”
Turning away from her cousin, Andy knelt on the floor. She was already beginning to feel a little nauseous, but feeling better was going to have to wait. Besides, Toni would be back in a few minutes and she'd probably have to find some new way of distracting him. There was no critical thinking when that kid was around.
Running her hands over the toys as she crouched, Andy tried to focus on the energy, hoping there would just be a few more cursed objects then she could call it quits.
Once again, dusty. Interesting.
“Do you know how the cleaning enchantments work in this house?”
Seth shifted around in his chair at the question.
“I'm not positive, why?”
Andy shrugged. Maybe it was nothing at all. Probably best not to freak the guy out, though.
“Just wondering. My room's a little dusty.”
Seth sighed.
“Normally it's about which rooms get used the most. The more useful a room is, the more often it gets cleaned, but none of them less than once a week. So, like, the living room is always spotless.”
Andy frowned, still running her hands over everything. Nothing. Seriously? Not a thing? Where the hell was this coming from?
“How do they get cleaned then?”
She could hear a scratch as Seth said, “Hmmmm.”
“Do you ever see it happen?”
Glancing up, she saw him shake his head.
“No. No, it's like the dust just gets absorbed into... nothing. I think technically there is a cleaning crew – Penelope and the ghost crew – but I think they just do the big things, like putting things away. Normally they'd be in here putting the toys back into the boxes and stuff, but I guess not.”
Andy bit her lip. Now that was strange. Almost nothing scares ghosts.
“Are they real ghosts?”
She looked up again as he shrugged. Andy sat back on her heels, attention now locked in.
“I think so. Yeah.” He nodded. “Yeah, one of them used to work here and decided to stay on as cleaning crew when he died.”
“Pft. Afterlife must suck.”
“Uh, I guess.”
She glanced around. Fuck this room. She really felt like crap.
“Do you know where I can find Penelope and her little ghostie friends?”
Seth gave her a weird look.
“Yeah, come on. Her office is in the basement.”
In the saddest little closet Andy had ever seen in the saddest corner of the house in the basement with only a little window looking out at some dirt and an inch of sky, there was an “office.” Actually, “office” was a strong word; “cell” was more accurate.
The place was totally barren stone, and not the nice stone like upstairs where people actually go. Penelope's corner was rough, cold, stone that was obviously original from the prehistoric ages. There's no way modern people would be proud to admit they'd built this. There was only one piece of furniture in the room; a table, probably antique from the stall of one of Caesar's servants, had been pushed against one empty, sad wall, and on it was the only new or pretty thing in the room: a bell.
Looking at her cousin, Andy almost laughed.
“You've gotta be kidding me!”
Seth cracked a smile, but shook his head.
“Nope. Penelope doesn't really like Mom and Dad either, but she didn't really care about the office. She says the only people losing out in this deal are the ones who have to come visit her.”
They both looked as they walked through the door.
“She's right. My heart is melting for whoever spends time in here.”
Seth shrugged.
“So... nobody.”
“I guess. Where's Penelope?”
Pointing at the bell, he looked around nervously.
“You gotta let her know you're here.”
Andy raised her eyebrows. What was Penelope again?
“Right.”
Crossing the room in about two steps, Andy paused in front of the table. The bell was shiny new, as though Penelope replaced it every time it got rung to keep it fresh and pretty. Maybe Andy should do it with her sleeve, you know, to reduce the risk of fingerprints. Nobody ever had to know she was in here. Gently, with one finger, she pushed down on the button.
It dinged softly. Andy looked around, expecting... something.
For a moment, the only sound was the bell's tone as it faded away to nothing more than a ringing in her ears. Andy looked at Seth and he shrugged again. Punk.
Something whizzed into the room, landing directly in front of Andy. In an instant, a poodle-skirt woman was standing before her with bleach blond curls and a sour look that curdled Andy's breakfast in her stomach.
“Penelope?”
For a moment, the scowl became confused, like Andy had just called her by her ex-boyfriend's name, then melted into a huge, genuine smile.
“Oh, you're not Genevieve. Well, that changes things.”
Penelope snapped her fingers and the room exploded into a world of color and warmth. Andy hadn't realized there was a musty smell to the room until it had been replaced with the strong reek of fresh roses that added to the ambiance of the... parlor?
Armchairs had appeared in the center of the room on the thick red carpet. Paintings hung from the cozy wallpapered walls with frames that matched the trim on the room and the ceiling lamp that gave off a warm glow that seemed to bring the temperature of the room up by about ten degrees. Even the table looked savable now with lion's foot legs and a brand-new, fully operational computer that had been set up there behind the easy chair.
Andy blinked.
“What?”
Penelope smiled, extending a hand.
“Penelope Enda, house cleaning. Pleasure to meet you!”
Andy took the hand, giving it a small shake.
“Andy sort-of-Kellington. Nice to meet you?”
Penelope snapped her fingers again and the two armchairs scooped up Seth and Andy, putting them facing Penelope where she collapsed in a chair that had mysteriously appeared behind her.
“Yes, sorry for the difficult start. I'm accustomed to being screeched at because something went missing, or I messed up her redecorating, or, well, you probably didn't come here to hear me bitch.”
Andy smiled.
“Really, it's okay. I know the feeling very well. But...”
Andy gestured around herself, looking the stunning room up and down. The lady knew how to decorate, that was for sure.
“How did you...?”
Penelope crossed her legs, leaning back in her chair like the queen of the world.
“Oh, they're not really here here. I've summoned them, as I do when I want to actually spend time here, or for this kind of thing, but they're all things that once existed and no longer do.”
She pointed one long, pink fingernail at Andy's chair.
“That one was burned by Mrs. Green's staff after she died in 1910. That table was used for firewood during the Great Depression. The lamp was destroyed at Mr. Andes' 67th birthday party. All of it existed at one time but for one reason or another was destroyed from how it was when it was new. You know, no longer useful so they get dumped.”
Andy nodded. Sort of creepy, but whatever.
“So to answer your question, Andy dear, I'm a type of necromancer. I don't actually bring people back from the dead, but I can give the illusion of it. Like all this stuff. It looks, feels, and even smells real, but it's not. Everyone who works for me is the same way. They're all spirits of the dead who were sick of everything they were doing in the afterlife so I invited them to work for me and they all agreed. It's incredibly useful. Spirits get bored, you know.”
Andy nodded again.
“But I don't think you came to hear all about my magnificent powers, dear, did you? What can I do for you?”
Andy glanced at Seth, whose mouth was hanging open, dumbstruck. Clearly, he'd never been here without his mother around.
She looked away, glancing around at the furniture of the room. It did have a little bit of a shimmer to it, like it was only barely opaque. Weird.
“Right. Yeah, I want to know about the playroom.”
Penelope frowned. Instantly, a little notepad appeared in her hand with a big, fluffy, bejeweled pen that hurt Andy's soul to look at.
“Hmm, let's see. Playroom? Ah, there it is. What? Two months ago?!”
Penelope looked up at Andy.
“I'll get right on that.”
“Yeah, well, actually I was just wondering how that worked. See, do you know what kind of things could screw up the cleaning schedule? It's an enchantment, right?”
Penelope tapped her pen on her face.
“It is. And no, I wish I knew. I do know it's an enchantment that alerts my ghosts when somewhere needs to be cleaned then puts them there when the room's empty. To be honest, the details are a little mysterious to me, too. If you'd like, I could put you in touch with whoever did the enchanting.”
Nodding vigorously, Andy glanced again at Seth. Same damn face.
“Yes, yes that is exactly what I need.”
Penelope gave her a smile like she was telling her she had free plane tickets to Hawaii. Flipping a page in her little notepad, she began scribbling madly.
“His name is Lance Logen, and he lives and runs his business up in Portland. I'll put here for you his name, business address, and phone number. Make sure you give him a call to let him know you're coming so you find the place.” She tore out the page.
Andy nodded vigorously, taking the page from Penelope.
“Thank you so much. And, uh, this isn't going to disappear is it?”
The woman laughed.
“No. It's totally real.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“Anytime, darling. Come back soon!”
Andy had to promise she'd show up for family dinner today before Seth would let her walk away. Without her around, apparently Jeromy had been sulking, wondering where his niece had been off hiding and “causing nothing but trouble.”
The moment she got away, though, she headed straight for the kitchens, looking for where Hannibal had escaped to.
Ducking into the narrow corridor behind the suits of armor, she practically danced along. A lead. She was going to crack this thing and be out of here before school even started. Was it too late to enroll in community college? Maybe she could start by getting some of the stupid credits in the degree done so she could focus on the cooler ones in the spring. Could she still apply to start somewhere in the spring? Was that a thing?
Before Andy had gone more than five steps down the hall she was stopped in her tracks by a scream that ignited the adrenaline in her body like the Fourth of July. Out of nowhere, it was terrifying, a woman's voice, like what you would expect to hear when she walked in on her husband stabbed fifty times on the ground of the family garage. Jumping, she covered her ears and leaned against the wall as the wailing penetrated into her skull like a jackhammer in the hands of the Hulk. What the hell?
It was a movie scream, but loud, long, and never ending. It made Andy's nerves shiver like a baby bird in March of the Penguins.
Then it stopped. Nix the never ending part. What the fuck.
Running back out into the entry hall, Andy looked around for any sign of disturbance. The only person in the area was the elderly woman she'd run into earlier, but she didn't seem the type to keep her wits when anything happened that wasn't planned by her secretary.
She spotted Andy as she emerged from one of the hallways branching off the big space and instantly, her eyes became huge.
“Was that you?”
Andy almost shouted it, her head still ringing with the sound.
The woman's eyes became slightly less huge and more confused.
“No! What are you talking about?”
The woman’s voice was small and meek, and though she tried to sound intimidating, there was a shaking in it as she spoke, like she was about to cry.
“The- th-that- the scream, didn't you hear it?”
The woman's eyes grew huge again.
“No. You must be mistaken.”
Then, taking off at the absolute fastest walk she could do without running, the woman was booking it up the stairs like her life depended on it, but not completely.
Andy stood alone in the entry hall, watching as the woman reached the top, made a right, and headed back down towards where she'd been coming from earlier that day. Weirdo. Her room was right near the playroom though. Interesting. It really meant nothing, but still.
Who could have screamed like that?
Taking off at a little less than a sprint, she checked the study. Nothing. The common area where people stayed? Nobody. No one was in any of the rooms. The upstairs, the library and the ballroom were the same story. First of all, where were the freeloaders? Second, what gives?
Andy shook her head, standing once again in the main entry hall. Was she insane? Probably not. Right?
Wandering down the hall to look for her little friend again, she shook her head again. What the hell just happened?
Mack Hart
Helen had advised that Andy check out the playroom again once the whole necklace fiasco was over. There had been plenty of signs of cursed magic in there, a lot of them Helen thought unexplained by what Andy found: the room that wouldn't clean itself anymore; the fact that it had taken Andy so long to figure out it was the necklace and not something with the walls... all of them were pretty suspicious.
So yeah, Helen was probably right. No, Helen was right. Andy really should just stick her head in there and see if she got an immediate migraine. But that idea just wasn't appealing.
Ever since getting shocked by that goddamn piece of kids jewelry, she'd made a point of avoiding the room. And why not? After ridding herself of the thing, she'd discovered that her hand was, in fact, burned. Black, raised circles had appeared across her palm where she'd grabbed the string off the ground, and the skin around them hurt like hell. Thankfully, a drive to the herbalist lady, Mrs. Kristine Nighting, had saved her from having to deal with it for what would have been like forever. She just did some little voodoo thing and it was gone, but the scar remained, and the joint pain had lasted for two days after the initial incident, something else to think about.
So, no, Andy had not gone back yet. She hadn't gone back because fuck that. Why would she when she could just avoid that hall and just use the perfectly good servant's stairs from when the house had first been built? Besides, sometimes, if you avoid your problems long enough, they'll vanish or solve themselves. And that was exactly the theory here.
Just before Andy could turn the corner to the back door, a tall woman in a tight black dress that didn't compliment her at all appeared out of nowhere, literally. It was like Andy's worst nightmare come true, like the worst kind of party popper - one that left a tingling in the air where she'd popped out. The fact that she could do that made her instantly more terrifying. Definitely time for an anti-magic charm.
“Andy.”
Andy paused, facing her aunt. Her adopted aunt.
“Gen.”
The woman shook her head.
“Where have you been? I've been needing you for days.”
Andy shrugged. It was funny, because she'd been avoiding Gen for days. Ever since the less than stellar phone conversation she'd overheard the woman having with Kellington after the necklace incident.
“I've been out and about.” Hiding in the kitchen and in town.
“You haven't been at meals. You aren't around the house during the day. I know you're avoiding me; you're avoiding your job.”
“I'm unemployed.”
“You have free room and board here. Thanks to me. You work for me.”
“Then I work for whoever arranged that. I work for Kellington.”
Gen took a step forward. Man, this woman was even more intimidating than Andy had remembered from five days ago.
“Regardless. I need you to finish solving that problem I gave you.”
Her voice got quiet as she finished the sentence, as though she were terrified someone else would hear that she had been hiring her adopted niece.
“I can't send the kids back into the playroom until we can be sure it's safe, and after you found that – that thing – it certainly doesn't seem safe.”
Andy shook her head.
“No. It's probably not.”
Gen threw up her hands.
“Then make it so. That's what you're here to do, isn't it?”
“I'm not a magician. If there's a curse on the room there's nothing I can do. Hire your stupid brother himself. We all know he'd be more successful and care a helluva lot more than me.”
“He's a busy man.”
“I would love to be busy doing the things I care about. I did have a life before this.”
“This is your life.”
“It doesn't have to be.”
“Andriana Kellington, you are going to do as you have been asked here to -”
“It's Andrelyn. Andrelyn is my name. And I'll get to it when I can.”
Gen crossed her arms, like she was about to tell her six year old daughter to go to her room or something, but she hesitated. Glancing out the door to her right, into the yard, her face fell a little. Yeah, she'd lost this one.
“I should have asked for Kevin.”
“Yeah, you should have. Bye bye!”
Andy held up a hand, waggling just her fingers before turning to walk out the door. Enough of this crap.
Below her, Hannibal made a noise, twining through her legs and giving Gen a suspicious look, the kind kids give their parents when their Halloween candy’s disappeared overnight.
Andy stepped over him carefully. She'd almost forgotten he was there. Good boy. Weird cat.
Opening the door, she allowed him to trot out first before following, leaving Gen standing there like a statue, stuck to the spot by her unwillingness to move.
The lady was certainly a buzz kill. Asked for Kevin? Low blow. He'd been their obvious favorite pretty much forever. Andy could've de-monstered the entire estate and surrounding town and, in their eyes, still not compared with the guy. Fuck, if he'd come, he never would have solved the mystery. Gen and Jeromy probably would have given him an Xbox, a lifetime supply of snacks, and then bowed down behind him all summer in worship.
She didn't get it. The guy wasn't even anything special. Yeah, Kevin was kinda nice sometimes, but he was pretty much just a skinnier, less useful Jason Kellington. Maybe that was it, since Gen was basically in love with her brother. Or maybe it was that out of the two younger generation Kellington kids, Kevin had the one important thing going for him: he did magic. The guy was basically a hippie with a uke who gave people eargasms; he was the Pied Piper; the Louis Armstrong of all instruments if Louis could convince a full grown man to rob a bank with his sweet jams. If anybody was truly useless in the Kelington household, it was Kevin, and all the Kellington's and Leistings adored him.
Andy groaned and Hannibal looked back at her from where he was stalking a little squirrel on a branch above his head. He trotted back to her, looking for pets. Sucker. No, that wasn't fair to think about Kevin like that. But yeah, Gen was a buzz kill.
Within twenty minutes of going outside, Andy had spent enough time seething to drive her back into the entry hall where she angrily stomped up the grand staircase to the second floor were that stupid playroom was. The hall was empty both below and above the stairs, and as she walked, her footsteps echoed off the smooth tile, rebounding to her ears from where they collided with the dark stone of the walls all around her.
Her job indeed. She could do better living out of her car and traveling the continent. There were enough people out there desperate to have things taken care of in a much more physical way that she would be just fine. Andy didn't solve mysteries. She slaughtered dangerous things. There's no mystery when you see those things. No surprise. No ungrateful, assholian, stupid, stuck-up relatives that steal you away from your only real chance in the world to do something you suck at. Fuck.
When she turned the corner to the playroom, she made eye contact with a woman she hadn't noticed before, perhaps fifteen steps ahead of her and on a collision course. She was skinny, probably about fifty years old and starved, with fashion straight out of the 1950's elite and gray hair that she piled on top of her head in an elaborate bun.
When she saw Andy, her dark eyes went wide with surprise. Immediately, she looked away.
“Good afternoon,” muttered Andy as she passed, but it came out as more of a growl, so she put her head down and walked faster. No sense scaring people who were staying here. Or actually...
She glanced behind here to where the woman was scurrying down the stairs.
Nah, the moment had passed. Freaking the hell out of people who came to experience Gen and Jeromy's hospitality could definitely have its perks, mostly making them look awful, but honestly, it wasn't worth it. It was all too obvious who would be doing it, so she'd get busted pretty much immediately.
Andy stopped in her tracks. A slight tug in her gut had caught her attention. Having a fairly solid stomach, it was easy to tell when she was being affected by something that wasn't food related. Only when she smelled something delicious was there any doubt to what it was coming from, and even then, she could usually tell by the immediate gurgling and salivation. So this wasn't normal. Yeah, there were random things in this house that could cause it, like the friendly suit of armor, but not here.
Not five steps in front of her was the door to the playroom. Case not closed. The playroom was fucking haunted. Or something like that.
Andy whimpered to herself. Why couldn't things like this just solve themselves? She'd ignored it for like five days, so therefore it should have just fucked off and gone away or... something! Goddammit.
The heaviness to the air increased as she took the last few steps to stand in the open doorway to the room.
“Oh. Hey, Andy.”
She paused in the doorway, hand on the knob to her left where the door had been left open.
Her eldest cousin on this side of the family, Seth, was significantly bigger than either of his siblings. The guy was destined to be tall, she could already tell. At fourteen years old, he was already a good head or so taller than Andy – something that was total bullshit from the moment he surpassed her in height two years ago. From there, his hair was a rival to hers, also. The guy was in the goth stage, where dudes let their hair grow out, wear T-shirts from metal concerts they've never been to and think it makes them look like rebels.
Toni would get there eventually, but at seven, almost eight, years old, Gen had forced him to keep his hair short, despite the consistent fight he put up when she dragged him to get it cut. Unlike Seth, he appeared to be turning out exceptionally small, both skinny and short for his age. Toni looked five, something his siblings wouldn't let him live down. Even Chrissy, the six year old, towered over him and could probably take him down if she wanted. Not that the Robin Hood princess would ever do that.
As Seth said her name, Toni's head popped up, excitedly from where he'd been fiddling with something at his brother's feet.
“Hey Andy check it out!”
Crawling into the fireplace, Toni jabbed his finger wildly at a burn mark on the brickwork near the back, exactly where the necklace had landed when she'd flung it like an unholy frisbee.
“Wait!”
She jumped forward, grabbing Toni by the middle and hauling him out of the fireplace like Santa's bag.
He looked up at her with those sad 7-year-old eyes – the ones that told her she'd just thrown his teddy bear out the window - and sat back, trying to comprehend what had just happened while he absently picked at the cast on his arm.
“What's wrong Andy?”
Seth looked confused, too, where he now stood over his younger brother.
The buzzing was still more intense down here than it had been when she stood near the door. Standing, she tried futilely to escape the feeling, but it was impossible. Definitely something was up. Were they causing it? She hadn't really seen Toni since she'd arrived; maybe he'd developed some kind of sorcery or something. Seth wasn't really likely. He'd figured out written magic was his thing years ago. So long as the guy didn't have a #2 pencil, you were safe.
“There's still something in here, I haven't figured this out yet. For once, Gen is right in deciding to keep you guys out of here, trust me.”
Seth scoffed with all the teenage tough-guy gruffness he could muster. “There's nothing killing us in here.”
“No, not right this second.”
“What's wrong with the fireplace?”
Toni still looked kind of sad, but he had graduated from his kicked puppy look and was now beginning to inspect the toys on the ground around him.
“Stop. Don't touch anything.”
He stopped.
Andy shook her head, running her hands over her face and hair. If only people could just figure it out and stay the hell away from the bad shit. That was the problem with people. DON'T. GO TOWARDS. THE BAD SHIT. Not that it was fair to take this out of Seth and Toni. They generally had about as much of an idea about the goings on in this house as did the fish in the family room.
“Look,” she began, “you guys might want to just get out of here for right now. I need some space to work and figure out what's going on.”
“But didn't you find that necklace and send it-”
“-Yes, yes I did. But that wasn't the only thing messing with this place and I don't know what else it is yet.”
“Oh.”
Toni looked around.
“Can I watch you work?”
His eyes were huge. The kid knew he could have his way if he tried long enough. That's Gen's kids for you, nice though they could be - unlike the dragon queen of the household. The real question was whether or not Toni was capable of just watching. More likely he'd be on her back the whole time, literally, trying to grab whatever she was looking at.
The image of Toni hanging off her hoodie, one arm wrapped around her neck trying to grab at some toy in her hand was just a little too vivid. No, better not to take that chance.
“You know what you can do that would be really helpful,” she said, looking away. What could he do? Did she really have something? “You could feed Hannibal for me.” Yeah. That sounds legit. You totally didn't just make that shit up. Good going Andy. “He'd love you forever if you do.”
The four legged guy looked up from where he stood in the doorway, giving her one of those looks simply stated why me. Yeah, he was never going to be a daycare therapy animal.
“Cool! What does he eat?”
Toni scrambled to his feet, totally ready for the challenge.
Andy glanced at Hannibal. You get to eat an extra meal today, buster, don't you give me that look.
“Ask Agnes. Normally I give him a can of tuna, but I think a little less than that would be better. He's getting fat and lazy these days.”
Hannibal squeaked.
She shrugged. It was true.
“Alright! Let's go boy!”
He made to pick up Hannibal, but the little killer dodged, trotting ahead of the kid to stay just out of reach.
Andy cringed as they left her sight, hoping her buddy could find it in him to forgive her.
He was getting food. There was hope.
Turning to Seth, she shook her head.
He was standing with his arms crossed in the middle of a mess of toys, feeling proud that he hadn't been kicked out yet.
“I don't have to make up excuses for you. Go on. Please.”
She gestured to the door and Seth's face fell. He dropped his arms and put his hands on his hips instead.
“Really?”
Andy shook her head.
“What?”
“You're just gonna kick me out, too?”
She bit her lip.
“No. Of course you can stay and go through everything that might be dangerous. Yes I'm kicking you out. Your parents would kill me if I inducted you into this.”
He dropped his arms then threw them up.
“Oh, come on! I never get to see you do the cool things. I wanna know how you do it.”
She shrugged.
“It's not that exciting. And also, you were there at Christmas, you know how it goes.”
“Pft.”
He looked around.
“What if I just sit in that chair?”
Pointing to a large armchair near the table, he walked over to it, making to sit down.
Andy shook her head again.
“Hold on.”
Striding over to it quickly so that she beat him to the punch, she took a seat in the chair. No shocks. No burning. No disorientation. The buzzing was no more intense over here than it had been everywhere else in the room. Okay, probably fine.
“Fine. But please, I just wanna get this over with so I can leave.”
He took a seat in the chair, crossing his legs and leaning back.
“Yeah, I can understand that. Toni and Chrissy were super excited when you showed up, but I know how you and mom get along. Or rather, don't.”
“Thanks for the reminder.”
Turning away from her cousin, Andy knelt on the floor. She was already beginning to feel a little nauseous, but feeling better was going to have to wait. Besides, Toni would be back in a few minutes and she'd probably have to find some new way of distracting him. There was no critical thinking when that kid was around.
Running her hands over the toys as she crouched, Andy tried to focus on the energy, hoping there would just be a few more cursed objects then she could call it quits.
Once again, dusty. Interesting.
“Do you know how the cleaning enchantments work in this house?”
Seth shifted around in his chair at the question.
“I'm not positive, why?”
Andy shrugged. Maybe it was nothing at all. Probably best not to freak the guy out, though.
“Just wondering. My room's a little dusty.”
Seth sighed.
“Normally it's about which rooms get used the most. The more useful a room is, the more often it gets cleaned, but none of them less than once a week. So, like, the living room is always spotless.”
Andy frowned, still running her hands over everything. Nothing. Seriously? Not a thing? Where the hell was this coming from?
“How do they get cleaned then?”
She could hear a scratch as Seth said, “Hmmmm.”
“Do you ever see it happen?”
Glancing up, she saw him shake his head.
“No. No, it's like the dust just gets absorbed into... nothing. I think technically there is a cleaning crew – Penelope and the ghost crew – but I think they just do the big things, like putting things away. Normally they'd be in here putting the toys back into the boxes and stuff, but I guess not.”
Andy bit her lip. Now that was strange. Almost nothing scares ghosts.
“Are they real ghosts?”
She looked up again as he shrugged. Andy sat back on her heels, attention now locked in.
“I think so. Yeah.” He nodded. “Yeah, one of them used to work here and decided to stay on as cleaning crew when he died.”
“Pft. Afterlife must suck.”
“Uh, I guess.”
She glanced around. Fuck this room. She really felt like crap.
“Do you know where I can find Penelope and her little ghostie friends?”
Seth gave her a weird look.
“Yeah, come on. Her office is in the basement.”
In the saddest little closet Andy had ever seen in the saddest corner of the house in the basement with only a little window looking out at some dirt and an inch of sky, there was an “office.” Actually, “office” was a strong word; “cell” was more accurate.
The place was totally barren stone, and not the nice stone like upstairs where people actually go. Penelope's corner was rough, cold, stone that was obviously original from the prehistoric ages. There's no way modern people would be proud to admit they'd built this. There was only one piece of furniture in the room; a table, probably antique from the stall of one of Caesar's servants, had been pushed against one empty, sad wall, and on it was the only new or pretty thing in the room: a bell.
Looking at her cousin, Andy almost laughed.
“You've gotta be kidding me!”
Seth cracked a smile, but shook his head.
“Nope. Penelope doesn't really like Mom and Dad either, but she didn't really care about the office. She says the only people losing out in this deal are the ones who have to come visit her.”
They both looked as they walked through the door.
“She's right. My heart is melting for whoever spends time in here.”
Seth shrugged.
“So... nobody.”
“I guess. Where's Penelope?”
Pointing at the bell, he looked around nervously.
“You gotta let her know you're here.”
Andy raised her eyebrows. What was Penelope again?
“Right.”
Crossing the room in about two steps, Andy paused in front of the table. The bell was shiny new, as though Penelope replaced it every time it got rung to keep it fresh and pretty. Maybe Andy should do it with her sleeve, you know, to reduce the risk of fingerprints. Nobody ever had to know she was in here. Gently, with one finger, she pushed down on the button.
It dinged softly. Andy looked around, expecting... something.
For a moment, the only sound was the bell's tone as it faded away to nothing more than a ringing in her ears. Andy looked at Seth and he shrugged again. Punk.
Something whizzed into the room, landing directly in front of Andy. In an instant, a poodle-skirt woman was standing before her with bleach blond curls and a sour look that curdled Andy's breakfast in her stomach.
“Penelope?”
For a moment, the scowl became confused, like Andy had just called her by her ex-boyfriend's name, then melted into a huge, genuine smile.
“Oh, you're not Genevieve. Well, that changes things.”
Penelope snapped her fingers and the room exploded into a world of color and warmth. Andy hadn't realized there was a musty smell to the room until it had been replaced with the strong reek of fresh roses that added to the ambiance of the... parlor?
Armchairs had appeared in the center of the room on the thick red carpet. Paintings hung from the cozy wallpapered walls with frames that matched the trim on the room and the ceiling lamp that gave off a warm glow that seemed to bring the temperature of the room up by about ten degrees. Even the table looked savable now with lion's foot legs and a brand-new, fully operational computer that had been set up there behind the easy chair.
Andy blinked.
“What?”
Penelope smiled, extending a hand.
“Penelope Enda, house cleaning. Pleasure to meet you!”
Andy took the hand, giving it a small shake.
“Andy sort-of-Kellington. Nice to meet you?”
Penelope snapped her fingers again and the two armchairs scooped up Seth and Andy, putting them facing Penelope where she collapsed in a chair that had mysteriously appeared behind her.
“Yes, sorry for the difficult start. I'm accustomed to being screeched at because something went missing, or I messed up her redecorating, or, well, you probably didn't come here to hear me bitch.”
Andy smiled.
“Really, it's okay. I know the feeling very well. But...”
Andy gestured around herself, looking the stunning room up and down. The lady knew how to decorate, that was for sure.
“How did you...?”
Penelope crossed her legs, leaning back in her chair like the queen of the world.
“Oh, they're not really here here. I've summoned them, as I do when I want to actually spend time here, or for this kind of thing, but they're all things that once existed and no longer do.”
She pointed one long, pink fingernail at Andy's chair.
“That one was burned by Mrs. Green's staff after she died in 1910. That table was used for firewood during the Great Depression. The lamp was destroyed at Mr. Andes' 67th birthday party. All of it existed at one time but for one reason or another was destroyed from how it was when it was new. You know, no longer useful so they get dumped.”
Andy nodded. Sort of creepy, but whatever.
“So to answer your question, Andy dear, I'm a type of necromancer. I don't actually bring people back from the dead, but I can give the illusion of it. Like all this stuff. It looks, feels, and even smells real, but it's not. Everyone who works for me is the same way. They're all spirits of the dead who were sick of everything they were doing in the afterlife so I invited them to work for me and they all agreed. It's incredibly useful. Spirits get bored, you know.”
Andy nodded again.
“But I don't think you came to hear all about my magnificent powers, dear, did you? What can I do for you?”
Andy glanced at Seth, whose mouth was hanging open, dumbstruck. Clearly, he'd never been here without his mother around.
She looked away, glancing around at the furniture of the room. It did have a little bit of a shimmer to it, like it was only barely opaque. Weird.
“Right. Yeah, I want to know about the playroom.”
Penelope frowned. Instantly, a little notepad appeared in her hand with a big, fluffy, bejeweled pen that hurt Andy's soul to look at.
“Hmm, let's see. Playroom? Ah, there it is. What? Two months ago?!”
Penelope looked up at Andy.
“I'll get right on that.”
“Yeah, well, actually I was just wondering how that worked. See, do you know what kind of things could screw up the cleaning schedule? It's an enchantment, right?”
Penelope tapped her pen on her face.
“It is. And no, I wish I knew. I do know it's an enchantment that alerts my ghosts when somewhere needs to be cleaned then puts them there when the room's empty. To be honest, the details are a little mysterious to me, too. If you'd like, I could put you in touch with whoever did the enchanting.”
Nodding vigorously, Andy glanced again at Seth. Same damn face.
“Yes, yes that is exactly what I need.”
Penelope gave her a smile like she was telling her she had free plane tickets to Hawaii. Flipping a page in her little notepad, she began scribbling madly.
“His name is Lance Logen, and he lives and runs his business up in Portland. I'll put here for you his name, business address, and phone number. Make sure you give him a call to let him know you're coming so you find the place.” She tore out the page.
Andy nodded vigorously, taking the page from Penelope.
“Thank you so much. And, uh, this isn't going to disappear is it?”
The woman laughed.
“No. It's totally real.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“Anytime, darling. Come back soon!”
Andy had to promise she'd show up for family dinner today before Seth would let her walk away. Without her around, apparently Jeromy had been sulking, wondering where his niece had been off hiding and “causing nothing but trouble.”
The moment she got away, though, she headed straight for the kitchens, looking for where Hannibal had escaped to.
Ducking into the narrow corridor behind the suits of armor, she practically danced along. A lead. She was going to crack this thing and be out of here before school even started. Was it too late to enroll in community college? Maybe she could start by getting some of the stupid credits in the degree done so she could focus on the cooler ones in the spring. Could she still apply to start somewhere in the spring? Was that a thing?
Before Andy had gone more than five steps down the hall she was stopped in her tracks by a scream that ignited the adrenaline in her body like the Fourth of July. Out of nowhere, it was terrifying, a woman's voice, like what you would expect to hear when she walked in on her husband stabbed fifty times on the ground of the family garage. Jumping, she covered her ears and leaned against the wall as the wailing penetrated into her skull like a jackhammer in the hands of the Hulk. What the hell?
It was a movie scream, but loud, long, and never ending. It made Andy's nerves shiver like a baby bird in March of the Penguins.
Then it stopped. Nix the never ending part. What the fuck.
Running back out into the entry hall, Andy looked around for any sign of disturbance. The only person in the area was the elderly woman she'd run into earlier, but she didn't seem the type to keep her wits when anything happened that wasn't planned by her secretary.
She spotted Andy as she emerged from one of the hallways branching off the big space and instantly, her eyes became huge.
“Was that you?”
Andy almost shouted it, her head still ringing with the sound.
The woman's eyes became slightly less huge and more confused.
“No! What are you talking about?”
The woman’s voice was small and meek, and though she tried to sound intimidating, there was a shaking in it as she spoke, like she was about to cry.
“The- th-that- the scream, didn't you hear it?”
The woman's eyes grew huge again.
“No. You must be mistaken.”
Then, taking off at the absolute fastest walk she could do without running, the woman was booking it up the stairs like her life depended on it, but not completely.
Andy stood alone in the entry hall, watching as the woman reached the top, made a right, and headed back down towards where she'd been coming from earlier that day. Weirdo. Her room was right near the playroom though. Interesting. It really meant nothing, but still.
Who could have screamed like that?
Taking off at a little less than a sprint, she checked the study. Nothing. The common area where people stayed? Nobody. No one was in any of the rooms. The upstairs, the library and the ballroom were the same story. First of all, where were the freeloaders? Second, what gives?
Andy shook her head, standing once again in the main entry hall. Was she insane? Probably not. Right?
Wandering down the hall to look for her little friend again, she shook her head again. What the hell just happened?